The Day I Was Hit By A Car

The first thing I heard on the radio when I woke up this morning was how warm it was going to be today. At 7am, it was 55 degrees...in Rhode Island...in late November. Despite this news, I decided to wear my long red wool coat to work today. Little did I know that it would save my life.
(If I really WERE to write a book, wouldn't that pull you in?)
Unfortunately, my escapade in the Providence Place Mall parking lot was not that dramatic but it still happened. I was hit by a car.
Not my car. But me - Trish-the-Dish.
I left work a little later than usual so I have a few extra pennies in my paycheck. When I clocked out, it was super dark out. The clock said 4:57pm but it looked like midnight.
Anyways, I got stuck in the elevator with two obnoxious women talking about Zumba. This was annoying on it's own but they didn't leave me there. They escorted me to the door at - a - very - slow - pace. When I finally got to the double doors leading to freedom, I cut to the right and blew right past them. Out of my way, ladies!
I power walked to the corner and waited for the signal telling me it was safe to walk across the street. While there, a coworker came up to me and we waited together...safely on the side of the street. We finally cross and realize that we park in the same parking lot.
As I always do, I walk in the drive-out opening in the building, which positions me facing the oncoming cars so I can see everything. I lure Linda to do the same. Because there's so much traffic at the toll booths, this is usually an easy task. You simply just breeze through them. They ain't going anywhere.
We were talking about her upcoming Florida vacation when we cut in between two cars. The one at the end of the line got fed up with his line and decided to reverse it and switch lines. Let's call him Mr. Patience. This allowed Linda & I to walk through without incid...
OUCH!
The crazy woman that was in line right in front of Mr. Patience decided that she would also jump ship. Ship being her line of traffic.
Let's call her Mrs. Hit & Run because she totally backed up into me! Um...hello! Did you not see my bright red coat? Also, I'm pretty sure we made eye contact as I walked through the cars.
She just tapped my left calf and I won't have as much as a bruise but I'm going to milk it for everything I can. In fact, I may develop a limp overnight. That should score me a free breakfast, no?

Isn't Thanksgiving Ironic?

The product of a broken home, for years, I've had to split my time between Mom and Dad during the holidays. Dad's holidays are elegant and polished, while Mom's holidays are casual and relaxing. For anyone who knows me, you KNOW I prefer Mom's holidays.
This morning, while I was getting ready for another Ginnetti Thanksgiving, I was cursing the fact that I needed to put on "work clothes" when I wanted to throw on some jeans & a hooded sweatshirt for a Sheridan turkey day. I wore a pair of black slacks, a pattered top with 3/4-length sleeves, pearl earrings and suede flats. Outerwear included a purple scarf and my knee-length red wool winter coat.
So, you can imagine my surprise when I was greeted at the door by my father in a polo, jeans & all-white sneakers. (The all-white sneakers are another story altogether!) I enter the house and see Sue in a nice top, jeans and wedged shoes. A few hours later, Sue's son and his family arrived - all in casual clothes. Hell, David wore khaki shorts and a baseball hat!
Then, I look outside and saw flying pigs! I, clearly, missed a memo.
Perhaps next year, to avoid confusion, we should dress like this:

Scamming Second Dates

I think I may have accidentally stumbled upon a new dating tactic.
I have been casually talking to this boy and we decided to grab a quick bite to eat over the weekend. I showered, dried and straightened my hair, brushed my teeth, applied deodorant and ran threw a cloud of perfume, wore "big girl" shoes & a nice sweater...also known as put forth effort. What I did NOT do is put my debit/credit cards in my purse.
He and I have a great conversation, have a few drinks, share a few stories, some laughs and a slice of vanilla bean cheesecake and, then, the waiter brings the bill over to the table. Being the nice girl that I am, I reach for the bill and add up my portion in my head. I put the bill back on the table and reach for my purse.
I grab my change purse, which holds all money, my license, AAA card, insurance information, my health insurance card, a Charlie Card for the Boston T, a Cilantro frequent shopper card (with 4 punched stars) among other things. Those other things typically are my debit card and my credit card...but not tonight.
I take the folded cash out of my purse while I feel my face getting more red by the second. Oh great, six dollars!
I rifle threw my cards praying that one of them has cash on the other end. No such luck.
"Hi, ____. Funny story. I realize this is our first date and it looks like you're having a good time. Well, I'm here to ruin it."
I totally didn't have enough money with me to pay my portion. Needless to say, I was mortified. I can not believe I had done this. I'm usually the girl that checks 100 times to make sure she has anything. En route to any game or concert, I'm the girl that checks 20 times to make sure that the tickets didn't crawl out of my bag, open the car window and fly out.
LUCKILY, ____ didn't leave me at the restaurant to clean dishes. He very graciously reopened his wallet and paid the full amount. We continued our conversation and left well after our server did.
On the bright side, I now owe him dinner. Looks like someone scored herself a second date.

Nibbles Woodaway

One of the first things I learned when I moved to the State of Rhode Island was that the proper name of New England Pest Control's "Big Blue Bug" was "Nibbles Woodaway". He is stationed at the Thurbers Avenue curve on I-95 in Providence and is, no doubt, the cause of many rush hour traffic accidents to those looking to sneak a peek of the massive attraction.
Since my move in 2004, I have told people this fun fact and very few people actually believe me. They have never heard of such a ludicrous name for the state's most well-known insect. Livelong Rhodies tell me that Kate's crazy for thinking this and that I'm crazy for believing her.
Well, read it and weep, people! Per Wikipedia, the "Big Blue Bug" is also known as "Nibbles Woodaway".
Nibbles is 928 times the size of an actual termite, standing at 9 feet tall and 58 feet long, and weighing 4,000 pounds. It was constructed over a four day period from wire mesh and fiberglass in late 1980 at a cost of $20,000.
Nibbles has made numerous media appearances, including the film Dumb and Dumber, and the television programs The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Daily Show and Family Guy.
The reason why I bring this up is that on my drive home tonight, Nibbles was getting his annual holiday garb on. Can we say "costume change"?
I don't know what it is but nothing quite says "Happy Holidays!" like a massive termite in reindeer antlers and a red nose.
Tis the season!

Take Me Out!

I used to read. I don't know what happened along the way but I just...stopped. Perhaps it was the lack of time or my severe television addiction but I can't tell you the last book I purchased and my last trip to the library was to use the computer to check my email and Facebook accounts.
A few weeks ago, one of my Aunt Kathys recommended I start reading Jen Lancaster's blog. I did and I immediately fell in love with her. I loved it so much that I dusted off my library card and headed to find some of her books.
It took me a while to find PS 3615 A54748 Z466 2007 in the stacks at the Warwick Public Library but, with the help of the computerized card catalog, I did it! I checked out Bright Lights, Big Ass A Self-Indulgent, Surly Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why It Often Sucks in the City, or Who Are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me? and Pretty In Plaid A Memoir A Life, A Witch, and a Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years Before the Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart-Ass Phase.
My love for her started with the amazing titles of her books.
I started Bright Lights, Big Ass just this week and I have literally laughed out loud four times already...and I'm only on page 64.
As I was reading this evening, I turned the page and I found a surprise within the pages. A manufacturer's coupon for "any bag of Cooked Perfect meatballs". Save $1.00! I did what any single 31-year-old girl would do. I checked the expiration date. I've never eaten Cooked Perfect meatballs before but for $1.00 off I could be convinced to make that purchase. I mean, how bad could they be?!
Unfortunately for me and my taste buds, the coupon expired on 1/16/11. This not only saddened me because I couldn't save some cash during my next trip to Stop & Shop but it saddened me to think that this book hadn't been checked out of the library in close to a year. I can't believe it. I've been taken out more in the past year than this wonderful, smart, funny book.
Do people no longer read? Or is it just that people don't borrow books from the library any longer now that the Kindle and Nook have been introduced?
I don't know about you but I like actually flipping the pages of a book. I enjoy the smell of the pages. I get an adrenaline rush from the risk of getting a papercut.
I'll keep you posted on new items I find within the paperback book pages. Perhaps a winning lottery ticket is in my future!?!
I am thankful I'm back in the reading groove. Thanks, Aunt Kathy!

All Roads Lead To Rome...Jerry Rome Nissan

I decided to take advantage of a day off from work and get the Grey Lady's second oil change. Seeing as I'm still in West Springfield, I made an appointment at the local Nissan dealership on Riverdale Street for first thing this morning. Perhaps not a GREAT idea after a full afternoon of day drinking but, nonetheless, I was there bright and early this morning.I walked into the office and met with Daniel. I requested an oil change and he tried to "up-sell" me to the recommended 7,000 mile services, which I declined after looking at the price. I walked into the waiting room and thought about my previous decision.
"Maybe I should just get this done now while I'm already here...I mean, it's a lease and I'd rather spend a little money now & then to keep it running smoothly than have pieces just fall off while driving and need to pay out lots of money all at once..."
I go back to the desk to meet with Daniel to tell him my decision to do the recommended services. What's another $80 on my credit card? (Oye!)
After approximately 40 minutes, Daniel appeared in the waiting room with a clipboard. He called my name and I went to the desk to pay for the car services. He began telling me that they found no problems with the Grey Lady and that everything looked good.
On the desk sat a bingo game. Not cards and blotters but the metal cage with round plastic balls with letters and numbers on them. Daniel told me about an incentive program that if you turned the cage around and number N37 came out, you got your service for $1.00.
I look in the cage and I can see the N37 white ball. It's sitting right on the top of the cage full of colored balls. My theory was if I could turn the cage around without jostling the balls from side to side, N37 would be turned and would come right out of the bottom hole. I turn the cage around by using the handle and I hear a ball hit the table.
I look at my new friend Daniel and he says, "N37!"
The man in line next to me, "Get out!"
I do a little jump and pump my arm in the air.
I pay Daniel $1.00 in cash and I take my receipt and car keys and hit the road. Thank you, Jerry Rome!

Goodbye, My Friend

It's a sad day.
A childhood friend that I spent much of my time with is no longer with us. It's with a heavy heart that I announce that the Friendly's restaurant on Westfield Street in West Springfield has closed.
As an elementary school student at St. Thomas the Apostle School, Friendly's was THE place to go after school was released on half days. Our parents would write permission notes that would allow us to walk to Friendly's rather than take the bus home. We'd all line up and, when that bell rang, would run to the crossing guard at the traffic light. We'd cross and run down the street to ensure a seat in the restaurant soon to be overtaken by children.
It's a miracle that the staff didn't ban us from this tradition. Imagine shooting straw wrappers from one table to another and kids running around...not the ideal dining experience for anyone over the age of 15.
I can vividly remember one trip in particular. My guess is that I was in 3rd or 4th grade and I sat with Taryn and Lindsey. I can still pick out the booth we were sitting in. We decided to get an appetizer sampler and split a Jim Dandy. Honest to God, we polished that sundae off in mere minutes. Quite a feat.
We'd also flood to Friendly's after softball games. In fact, one of my recreational softball teams when I was younger was sponsored by Friendly's. Driving down that stretch of Westfield Street at 730pm during the springtime, you'd be amazed at the number of parents, coaches and players in their brightly colored uniform shirts, some dirty, outside the restaurant having their ice cream cones with sprinkles.
Friendly's continued to be a staple in my high school career. Friends and I would go to Friendly's after basketball games, school dances and events. In college, roommates and I would walk down Route 9 in Framingham to the Friendly's in the Stop and Shop plaza. That is where I first ordered the "Chicky Crispin' Salad" (also known as the infamous Crispy Chicken Salad).
When visiting Mom in West Springfield, we'd often order sundaes through the pick up window. Recently, I had a date at Friendly's...it was my choice and I was so happy about it! I was potentially more excited about the food than I was about the male suitor.
This past week when I heard about the Westfield Street location closing, I got genuinely sad. So many memories took place at that restaurant and that franchise really has brought quite a bit of childhood fun to Western Massachusetts. I'm sad to see it go.
Going forward, I encourage everyone to go to Friendly's as often as possible. Start your own family traditions that include a Fishamajig or a conehead sundae. It'd be a shame for them ALL to disappear. You don't know what you've got til it's gone.