Yesterday - 12:01pm
Me: Hey. I have interest in auditioning to become the #6 thing you can't live without. Is there an application process or simply an interview? :o)
Today - 1:23pm
Him: No need to audition
Him: Or apply
Him: I don't bite
Him: My interview process is simple. Say hi
Him: I am not at a place in life that I wanna brag about. Things and women have not been kind. I've taken up other activities to help take my heartache and busy mind away. One being poker
Him: I moved back into my parents house in February and am wanting to get out of here
Him: I'd love to meet someone who is looking to move out of their current situation as well and hopefully do some soul searching with me.
Him: I'm not getting any younger
Him: I'm over weight and I drink
Him: No drugs (except maybe an occasional marijuana session)...No smoking cigarettes but will have an occasional (very occasional) cigar
Him: I have no kids and no pets
Me: Whoa. Breathe. Hi.
Him: I want both
Him: No time to breathe
Him: Just giving you the facts so you can run away
Me: ...okay...
Me: Sounds like you are trying to get me to run away.
Him: Not at all
Him: Just being open and upfront
Him: Last girl I started talking to on here took something I said wrong and called the police in town and had me rushed to the ER because she said I was going to commit suicide
Me: You need to work on your sales pitch.
Him: I'm just done with the crazy people and the fake ness
Him: I told her I wasn't interested and that her life would be better without me in it
Me: But you sprung that on me when I showed no signs of crazy. You may want to hold off on that stuff.
Him: She took that as I was going to jump of the Empire State Building
Me: You need some confidence.
Him: I am who I am. I'm not like other guys that are going to tell you what you want so you will be with them
Him: I have confidence. More than you can imagine
Me: Then why has this conversation gone this way? Do a quick scroll back through these messages.
Him: This conversation has gone how... Truthful?
Him: I'm confident in who I am...enough to disclose who I am to a total stranger.
Him: I'm not masking it
Him: I read your profile
Him: It seemed like you wanted someone truthful and honest
Him: Guess not
Me: It's just so heavy. I just wanted to say hi. Next time a lady messages you, try being a bit more playful.
Him: You'd rather someone find someone to bullshit you
Him: That's not and never will be...Me
Me: Well, okay. That escalated quickly. Good luck.
Him: I'd rather be single and lonely than playful and hurt
Him: See how easy that was
Him: You took my honesty as something more than it was
Him: Maybe I'm not the issue...Maybe you are...Maybe you need to understand that sugar coating stuff on these sites leads to deep and heavy let downs
Him: I'm playful but let's just get the skeletons out of the closet. You will never be able to say that I hid something from you. Hahahaha
Him: Your profile reminds me of "27 dresses"
Him: Always always always a bridesmaid
Him: We gonna sing Elton johns Benny and the Jett's soon?
Him: Blame it on me being Irish. I don't know
Him: At least it was the truth that pushed you away and not my honestu
Him: Honesty
Him: The facts and not the forwardness
Me: Nope. It was the forwardness. Definitely the forwardness.
Him: Good luck finding a guy who hides all the facts
Him: There are plenty out there
Him: Most are probably married with kids
Him: Good bye. your loss
Me: Ha. You're nuts.
Him: Not nuts. I'm honest
Him: Good luck
Him: You are like every other woman on these sites. You want fake men that lie to be what you want
Him: You put this...Hey I'm interested in auditioning line as your opening line...Hoping that the men who respond will tell you what you want to hear. You don't want to hear the truth though.
Him: I'm real
Him: I opened up with real statements and you couldn't take it
Him: That's your problem...not mine
(30 minutes later)
Him: Let me apologize
Him: Can we start over?
Him: It's not too late
(Author's note: Ummm, yes it is. Way too late.)
