Bye Bye Bobby

This is a first.
In my 15 years of dating, I have never been stood up for a date. I've had some awful first dates and even some super late cancels but NEVER have I been sitting in my car in a parking spot waiting for my date to show up...and they never do.
...until tonight.
I've been emailing/texting with Bobby (name NOT changed for anonymity) for a few weeks now. He has a good job in Providence, works normal hours, owns a tie, has his own group of friends, likes sports & good beer and seems like a nice guy. We had agreed to meet up on Thayer Street tonight at 6pm.
I had been texting him casually while at work today, making sure we were still on for tonight's plans. He confirms. At approximately 3:30pm, I ask where we should meet up. No response.
I stay a bit late at work, change and primp in the work bathroom, give him a call (and leave a message) at 5:20pm to ask where on Thayer Street we should meet up.
I drive over to Thayer Street and find a parking spot without a problem. I'm about 15 minutes early for the big rendezvous. I'd much rather be too early than late. I shoot Cindy a text about the Modern Family premiere last night.
I eavesdrop on some kooky lady's conversation with her two rescue dogs outside Johnny Rocket's. I know they were rescues because she told every single person that walked by her.
The clock turns 6pm. Still no text or return phone call.
I text Cindy & Kate that I believe I'm being stood up.
6:21pm I call Jess to let her know that I'm being stood up.
At around 6:45pm, I decide to venture over to Antonio's for a slice of chicken parm pizza and a fountain soda. Good decision.
I get home to Warwick around 7:15 and change into my pajamas...2 hours later than I should have.
At 7:35pm, Bobby texts me, "I just got out of work, are you gonna kill me?"
No...but I'm not going to respond.

The Reason I'm Single

A recent email from a potential male suitor:
"Wats up beauitful..? . Names Garyy im 23 im a very wise person far from a knuckel head. I aint the type to play silly games people tend to play.. liers i hate i always keep a 100... On the Other hand i do know how to treat nd please a real Woman... Im from Providence R.I Age aint ish lol im just Looking to Make a Friend if it Aint A Problem..!j Im singlee been singlee for two yrs No DRAMA NO WORRIES LOLZ.. Im a Tattoo Artist Going to skoo to become Cook & get my business degree.. Lets get to know one anotha Wat cha Sayy? Yhu have a number... hmu"

(Keep in mind that the upside down question marks were removed because I have no idea how to do that...for that, I'll give him credit.)

Help!

I Have A Theory

Is it me or have other people noticed the overwhelming amount of squirrels out and about recently? Unfortunately, I've seen most of them flattened like pancakes on the roads but there have been an extraordinary amount of them.
Don't know why?
Have no fear.
Here's my theory.
Irene.
My theory is that with the recent hurricane that came through New England in late August the trees that these squirrels called home have been damaged or taken down once assessed after the storm.
These furry creatures just don't know where to go...so they run into the middle of Route 2 and meet their maker.
Good, right?
I feel super bad for the little guys, though. Although death is a part of life and, in the animal world, you have to worry about that pesky food chain, it makes me sad to know that they become homeless, find their furry friends and family and then have no where to go.
The only solution: adopt a family of squirrels.

Like It Matters

After work yesterday I sat in my car in the parking lot to organize my blackhole of a purse. As I sat there, a young male driver comes out of the mall and walks up to the passenger side of his own car and inspects a small mark on his car. I didn't see it so it may not be a scratch...it could've been bird droppings for all I know.
Anyways, after a few minutes he walked around to the driver's side, got in and started to back out of the spot. It was then that I noticed that the entire front, driver's-side bumper was completely missing from the car. I could see the windshield washer fluid tank!
I literally laughed out loud because he was so anxious about a teeny tiny mark. He must've been devastated when his bumper fell off the car! That is all.