Attaboy, Chip!

I went to the nail salon this afternoon for an emergency fix. Goodbye, busted up Tropical Teal. Hello, Lucy Diamond.

While I was having services done, I was distracted by two TVs. The television to my left was playing Keeping Up with the Kardashians, while the TV to my right was playing Fixer Upper.

I felt like there was a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

In my opinion, the Kardashians are known for their self-involved, money-hungry, over-the-top lifestyle. Chip and Joanna Gaines, on the other hand, are known for being a charming, family-oriented, and genuine Waco-loving couple.

I am happy to say that good prevailed. The patrons of the nail salon were facing right. All of them.

Forever 413

So much for being on the ball and being efficient.

I took this afternoon off from work to proactively get some car maintenance done - oil change, 71,250-mile service check up, fix the air conditioning for the summer months, and check the tires because of low tire pressure.

Instead, what I actually did was drop my car off at the dealership, risk my life walking across Route 2 twice, and waste a perfectly good PTO day by sitting on my couch for three-plus hours waiting for a phone call.

Let me rewind a bit. (Sorry if this is a bit erratic. I am still heated.)

Last week, I made an car service appointment for 1 p.m. this afternoon for a list of reasons...all minor. Today, I show up 30 minutes early and was told that someone would contact me within the hour regarding some of the questions that I had.

Because the dealership is within view from my deck, I decided to walk home by way of Papa Gino's for lunch. I figured that by the time I got home and changed, someone would call me and I would have a better idea of the time I would be without a car and the upcoming damage to my checking account. That is not what happened. Not at all.

Instead, I walked to Papa Gino's, got myself a sandwich, risked my life crossing Route 2, watched three and a half hours of television on my couch, called the dealership for a status update, and, when not hearing back as promised, decided to just walk back and figure out what the heck was going on.

"Someone will check on your car and will get back to you right away" actually means "They are never going to call you at the number that you provided. Good luck, sister!"

At quarter of 5 p.m., I walk into the dealership and approach the service office. I say "I'm just checking on the status of my car" to which the girl who helped me at 1 p.m. simply looks at her associate and lets him flounder.

He responds with "I called you hours ago and left you a message." I respond with "no, I got no message from you." He says "well, I called you at your 401 number." Please keep in mind that my 401 telephone number is at my desk at work, and it is not listed as my primary telephone number on any paperwork, anywhere.

At that point, the girl comes over to his side of the office, points at the number that I have listed as my primary contact number and advises that he should've called the cell phone number. I'm not sure why it was his responsibility to call me after I dealt with her earlier that afternoon and I requested that she call me back at 3 p.m.

"Oh, the 413 threw me off," meaning my cell phone area code. Ugh.

When I called the dealership and spoke to the receptionist at approximately 3 p.m., she advised that someone would get right back to me and even confirmed which telephone number they should call back. I'm not quite sure why this was a question or an issue.

He begins to list off what they completed on my car and what still needs fixing. It was the same list that I had given to them to check out for me. Unfortunately, because they weren't able to get ahold of me, they fixed none of those outstanding issues causing me to need to schedule another appointment. What a mess.

Does no one else have a cell phone number with an area code different from where they live currently? I can't believe that I'm the only one.

Long live 413.

NYC Sidewalks

While visiting New York City last weekend, it really hit home for me that there are two types of people in this world - those that are "get out of my way" people and those that move to the side to let others pass.

I understand that dealing with New York City crowds on a daily basis probably isn't all that fun, and, to get anywhere in a timely fashion, you need to put your head down and just walk. "Move it, tourists!"

That being said, I can't help but wonder if polite people tend to move to the side to let the more aggressive people just walk right through...on sidewalks and in life, in general.

I, for one, am a self-admitted pushover. I know it. They know it. We all know it. I'd rather take the responsibility for "budging" than have a conflict about saying "no, I was walking here". I have self awareness, but, unfortunately, this trait is not possessed by everyone. I don't completely remember where I obtained said trait, but I am very thankful that I picked it up along the way.

I am, by no means, picking on New York City. This happens in every mall, on every city sidewalk, every day while behind the wheel of a car, and in every office cafeteria in America. There are people who feel entitled everywhere you turn. There are people who are so caught up in their own life, conversation, or phone to realize that someone else might actually be trying to walk by.

What happened to our manners? When did holding a door for a stranger or stepping aside to let another pass turn into a romantic gesture?

Fruit Bowl Antics

I've been trying to eat better. Instead of eating a muffin or sugary cereal for breakfast, I've been eating fruit or granola bars. I'm trying to make better choices, and, hopefully, that will contribute to my remarkable weight loss and impending supermodel contract. 

The other day at work, I bought a banana in the store on the ground floor and brought it back to my desk. I took the top handle and attempted to peel it. Instead of peeling it down, it simply cracked the peel on the backside so I had to unzip it with my thumb and extract my breakfast from it's shell.

This silly little moment made me smile and brought back a childhood memory. 

I specifically remember a day where I selected a banana from the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter, and the same thing happened.

My silly, perhaps immature, 11 (?) year old self extracted the contents, taped up the back of the peel with scotch tape, and strategically placed it back in the bowl.

Don't ask me why. I just thought it would be funny for someone else in the house to grab a banana and have it fold in their hand because it was hollow.

It was. 

2015: A Retrospective

2015 was a busy year...like most of them are.

That being said, not too much has changed. I am still the same girl, living in the same place, under the same circumstances.

Before moving on to 2016,  here are some things I have done this past year (in no particular order):

• Celebrated the life of my aunt Carol; the weddings of Jackie and Dan, Mindy and Bob, and Matt and Jess; and the births of Violet, Clara and Kasey
• Discovered my love for chocolate cherry martinis
• Indulged in Kate's Superbowl chili, and Taco Tuesdays and a food truck festival with Christine and friends
• Burst a pipe in my condo, which, no doubt, caused my downstairs neighbors to hate me
• Helped my father for the first time
• Went to bingo at Foxwoods, listened to grown adults read their middle school diaries on stage in Cambridge, watched a soccer game at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, caught air going down the big yellow slide at the Big E in West Springfield, watched a hockey game in Providence, and drove to Hingham for a cheeseburger and tater tots
• Ate a grilled peanut butter and fluff sandwich while drinking cans of beer in a trailer park
• Walked for Cystic Fibrosis and heart disease awareness, volunteered at Pridefest and the New England Family Fun Festival, co-captained a volunteer day at work stuffing almost 2,600 flu fighter kits for the local community, and raised money for breast cancer awareness
• Sang karaoke while at a work conference, and was recognized in the hotel lobby the next day for my efforts
• Camped in a cabin in Maine for four days, and saw three moose
• Watched Jaws for the first time while sitting in a backyard in a fold up chair
• Was confronted by a middle-aged bully at a charity event
• Escaped a few potential long term relationships, and even more extremely short term ones
• Made tremendous efforts to pay off all of my debt

I'm hoping a few things change in 2016, but, for the most part, I am very happy with the way things are going.

Here's to a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2016! Cheers!

Struggling To Believe

Don't get me wrong - I love receiving holiday cards from family, friends and colleagues. I enjoy seeing the photo collages of little kids crying on Santa's lap, memories from family summer vacations to the beach, and family pets playing in the fallen New England leaves.

As I was opening up the glitter-filled envelopes this year, it hurt a bit more than normal. The only holiday card that didn't feature a photo of a family, was sent from my condo management company.

It was abundantly clear just how unusual my situation is at my age - 35 and single with no family of my own to speak of. (Mom and Dad, you don't count this time around.)

Despite those I love frequently reassuring me that my prince will come soon and that I deserve much better than I've received from the online dating world, it doesn't help my cause.

Not only do I believe in the magic of Christmas, but I believe in love. That being said, it's getting more and more difficult to sustain. I need a big time reminder.

It hurts that there is no one special in my life, and just wish Santa and Cupid would cut me a break. I mean, Cupid visits me twice a year (2.14 and 12.24) and never once does he bring me a hostess gift. Rude!

This post is not meant to drum up pity. I just want to share what's going on in my world, and encourage you lucky ducks to count your blessings and be thankful for them everyday.

My Life: Verbatim

Yesterday - 12:01pm
Me: Hey. I have interest in auditioning to become the #6 thing you can't live without. Is there an application process or simply an interview? :o)

Today - 1:23pm
Him: No need to audition
Him: Or apply
Him: I don't bite
Him: My interview process is simple. Say hi
Him: I am not at a place in life that I wanna brag about. Things and women have not been kind. I've taken up other activities to help take my heartache and busy mind away. One being poker
Him: I moved back into my parents house in February and am wanting to get out of here
Him: I'd love to meet someone who is looking to move out of their current situation as well and hopefully do some soul searching with me.
Him: I'm not getting any younger
Him: I'm over weight and I drink
Him: No drugs (except maybe an occasional marijuana session)...No smoking cigarettes but will have an occasional (very occasional) cigar
Him: I have no kids and no pets

Me: Whoa. Breathe. Hi.

Him: I want both
Him: No time to breathe
Him: Just giving you the facts so you can run away

Me: ...okay...
Me: Sounds like you are trying to get me to run away.

Him: Not at all
Him: Just being open and upfront
Him: Last girl I started talking to on here took something I said wrong and called the police in town and had me rushed to the ER because she said I was going to commit suicide

Me: You need to work on your sales pitch.

Him: I'm just done with the crazy people and the fake ness
Him: I told her I wasn't interested and that her life would be better without me in it

Me: But you sprung that on me when I showed no signs of crazy. You may want to hold off on that stuff.

Him: She took that as I was going to jump of the Empire State Building

Me: You need some confidence.

Him: I am who I am. I'm not like other guys that are going to tell you what you want so you will be with them
Him: I have confidence. More than you can imagine

Me: Then why has this conversation gone this way? Do a quick scroll back through these messages.

Him: This conversation has gone how... Truthful?
Him: I'm confident in who I am...enough to disclose who I am to a total stranger.
Him: I'm not masking it
Him: I read your profile
Him: It seemed like you wanted someone truthful and honest
Him: Guess not

Me: It's just so heavy. I just wanted to say hi. Next time a lady messages you, try being a bit more playful.

Him: You'd rather someone find someone to bullshit you
Him: That's not and never will be...Me

Me: Well, okay. That escalated quickly. Good luck.

Him: I'd rather be single and lonely than playful and hurt
Him: See how easy that was
Him: You took my honesty as something more than it was
Him: Maybe I'm not the issue...Maybe you are...Maybe you need to understand that sugar coating stuff on these sites leads to deep and heavy let downs
Him: I'm playful but let's just get the skeletons out of the closet. You will never be able to say that I hid something from you. Hahahaha
Him: Your profile reminds me of "27 dresses"
Him: Always always always a bridesmaid
Him: We gonna sing Elton johns Benny and the Jett's soon?
Him: Blame it on me being Irish. I don't know
Him: At least it was the truth that pushed you away and not my honestu
Him: Honesty
Him: The facts and not the forwardness

Me: Nope. It was the forwardness. Definitely the forwardness.

Him: Good luck finding a guy who hides all the facts
Him: There are plenty out there
Him: Most are probably married with kids
Him: Good bye. your loss

Me: Ha. You're nuts.

Him: Not nuts. I'm honest
Him: Good luck
Him: You are like every other woman on these sites. You want fake men that lie to be what you want
Him: You put this...Hey I'm interested in auditioning line as your opening line...Hoping that the men who respond will tell you what you want to hear. You don't want to hear the truth though.
Him: I'm real
Him: I opened up with real statements and you couldn't take it
Him: That's your problem...not mine

(30 minutes later)

Him: Let me apologize
Him: Can we start over?
Him: It's not too late

(Author's note: Ummm, yes it is. Way too late.)